Are You Listening?

We have more communications methods today than ever before. We have smart phones, dumb phones, Facebook, Twitter, and on and on. Yet with all the technology we really don’t communicate well. The great missing element is our lack of the ability to listen. Listening personalizes what is a very impersonal communication world.

It’s really no mystery why we aren’t good at listening. In school we spend hours and hours learning to read, write, and even a good amount of time in speaking. Yet little time on the art of listening. In my own experience I have nearly 300 hours of college preparation that includes one, yes ONE hour devoted to listening. Most of us learned how to listen by trial and error.
So what’s the big deal? Why should we be concerned about becoming a good listener. It’s more fun to talk and let others be impressed with what we know. What are the benefits we gain from listening? I’m glad you asked! Let’s consider just four really large benefits of listening.

First, when we listen we build trust. Someone told me once “people don’t really care how much you know until they know how much you care.” When we listen we convey that we care and our caring builds the start of a level of trust. Trust is foundation of building upon a strong relationship. Solomon wrote that “for a man to have friends he must show himself friendly.” Listening is a great way to show ourselves friendly.

Next, listening enables learning. When we are talking we learn little, but listening helps us learn what others know and thus expand our information. By listening and asking questions we can learn great amounts. If we actually get into a conversation with two people listening the learning possibilities are endless. Sharing our knowledge expands both parties involved.

Third, listening facilitates understanding. Many of the current communication devices cause misunderstanding. Emails or texts often leave a false impression. You can’t tell if they’re smiling, scowling, or possibly upset. Listening enhances feedback and thus strengthens understanding. We have a better understanding of the message being conveyed when effective listening is practiced. When we understand each other our communications become more meaningful.

Finally, listening creates a connection. In the current world of virtual connection, we actually have little real connection. Listening creates a bond that connects us in a meaningful way into the future. Listening is the key to building a network that enhances both our personal and business relationships. When lasting connections are made everyone benefits. Are you listening?