The great American poet of the mid 1850’s, John Greenleaf Whittier, penned some thought-provoking words when he wrote “the saddest word of tongue or pen are these words: it might have been.” Surely these words have haunted all of us at one time or another. Why do we end up in the “might have been’s” and how do we overcome and gain success?
One of the attitudes hindering accomplishment is our feelings of inadequacy. We simply don’t see ourselves being able to do what we need to. My Grandpa told me “he who hesitates is lost.” Lack of confidence keeps us from starting, or we start and stop and never get going again. In his book “Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude” W. Clement Stone wrote “Success is achieved by those who try and keep trying! We’ll never know until we try!
Closely related to feelings of inadequacy is just the simple fear of failure. Our ego often can’t stand the thought of failing! What will others think of us? How will I recover? Reality is that anyone ever accomplishing anything of note failed-often many times. Disney did, so did Lincoln, so must we! It really isn’t how manty times we fall, but how many times we get back up and keep trying. Babe Ruth struck out over 2000 times, but we remember him for his 714 home runs in the dead ball era!
We often get resistance to what we want to accomplish. Accepting “no’ can stop us from reaching our goals. We then stop asking and we drop into that “might have been” mentality. Instead we should regroup and continue to ask. The first step in getting to yes is asking and then adjusting until we finally get to yes! My original Prudential Manager Paul Hutsey used to say each no received is the key in getting to the next yes and the yes is what makes a difference. Accepting no forever put us in “it might have been!”
No matter which of the attitudes hinder us the result is the same: it might have been! It might have been! It might have been! Having to say those words about something truly important is worse than failure! Teddy Roosevelt, our 26th President said on several occasions “Far greater it is to have won great victories though checkered with defeats than to take company with that great host knowing neither victory nor defeat!” Teddy was right, so too was Whittier, and Stone! Let’s stay away from having to say or think, “it might have been.”
Contact Chuck at: chuck.wright@sckans.edu
