Are You Listening?

We have more communications methods today than ever before. We have smart phones, dumb phones, Facebook, Twitter, and on and on. Yet with all the technology we really don’t communicate well. The great missing element is our lack of the ability to listen. Listening personalizes what is a very impersonal communication world.

It’s really no mystery why we aren’t good at listening. In school we spend hours and hours learning to read, write, and even a good amount of time in speaking. Yet little time on the art of listening. In my own experience I have nearly 300 hours of college preparation that includes one, yes ONE hour devoted to listening. Most of us learned how to listen by trial and error.
So what’s the big deal? Why should we be concerned about becoming a good listener. It’s more fun to talk and let others be impressed with what we know. What are the benefits we gain from listening? I’m glad you asked! Let’s consider just four really large benefits of listening.

First, when we listen we build trust. Someone told me once “people don’t really care how much you know until they know how much you care.” When we listen we convey that we care and our caring builds the start of a level of trust. Trust is foundation of building upon a strong relationship. Solomon wrote that “for a man to have friends he must show himself friendly.” Listening is a great way to show ourselves friendly.

Next, listening enables learning. When we are talking we learn little, but listening helps us learn what others know and thus expand our information. By listening and asking questions we can learn great amounts. If we actually get into a conversation with two people listening the learning possibilities are endless. Sharing our knowledge expands both parties involved.

Third, listening facilitates understanding. Many of the current communication devices cause misunderstanding. Emails or texts often leave a false impression. You can’t tell if they’re smiling, scowling, or possibly upset. Listening enhances feedback and thus strengthens understanding. We have a better understanding of the message being conveyed when effective listening is practiced. When we understand each other our communications become more meaningful.

Finally, listening creates a connection. In the current world of virtual connection, we actually have little real connection. Listening creates a bond that connects us in a meaningful way into the future. Listening is the key to building a network that enhances both our personal and business relationships. When lasting connections are made everyone benefits. Are you listening?

November: The Month of Thanks

November seems to bring out some of the best in us. It seems we pause to be thankful more than at other times. We reflect on the early settlement and founding traditions of our great country. Sometimes we fall short in expanding our thought to other areas we have for being thankful. I’ll share a few of mine and hopefully spur your own reflections.

• Freedom to worship as I choose. No oppressive government telling me when and where and how I should worship the God I choose to serve. The founding fathers were clear in providing us the freedom of religion, not the freedom from religion. Others have the same freedom to make the same or different choices.

• Freedom to change the direction of our governance at the ballot box and not by armed force. We’ve had this right for over two hundred years and earlier this month once again witnessed our democracy in action. Other than an occasional glitch our election process runs relatively smoothly.

• The advantage of being born an American. What a privilege to be a native citizen of this great land. Our poorest are rich compared to the poor in other lands and yet our obligation is to care about and for our poor.

• The freedom to live where I choose. The only restrictions are my choice and my ability to support the choices I make. We have lived in several places and found good and bad in each one. How we have lived and been treated has been more about how we have responded rather than how others have responded to us.

• The freedom of choosing my life’s work. I am personally thankful to have had two very rewarding careers. Most of my life was spent in sales and marketing, while my latter years are blessed with the opportunity to teach and help develop others.

• The blessing of good health. We take this for granted until we look around and see the suffering of others. Age changes this and so it’s important that we take advantage of opportunities while we have this great asset.

• I’ve saved the best for last, I’m thankful for my wonderful family. My wife of 48years this month, Sharon, and three beautiful daughters, six grandchildren, and our extended family as well. I’m additionally thankful for my parents who loved and gave me everything I needed for a successful life.

So, those are just a few of mine. Now sit down and think of what you have to be thankful for. The list will be endless.

Where Are You Living?

I recently heard speaker and writer John Maxwell say that each of us “spend our lives either preparing or repairing.” The question I had for myself was “Where are you living?” I finally came to the conclusion that to be successful in any venture we must be continuously doing both. Preparing and repairing are a seemingly never ending cycle.

One of the most important activities in life is preparation. Since we have so many aspects to our lives, preparation seems to just go on and on. I often think of the old Boy Scout motto “Be prepared.” I was only a scout for a short period, but was an Eagle Scout counselor for a couple of years. The time I spent in scouting taught me the importance of preparation.

I can never really think about preparation without thinking of the first time I had a sales appointment with my Prudential Manager, Paul Hutsey. After about thirty or forty minutes of aimless wandering through a disorganized sales interview, we left without the sale. In the car Paul told me “adlibs are for amateurs” reinforcing once again the importance of preparation. I developed an organized sales presentation that could be adjusted to my potential audiences.

No matter how well one prepares most of the time adjustments must be made. Plans seldom work exactly as laid out. So then, the repairing begins. We revise the plan to fit the situation and often revise it several times. Over time, experience makes it so the repairs are smaller and shorter in duration. During the preparation stage we become able to anticipate potential roadblocks and have alternative plans to follow. We often prepare and repair at the same time.

An example of preparing and repairing is the script of plays that a football team has for its first couple of offensive series. If the plays are highly effective early, few adjustments (repairs) are made. If the team struggles with the early plays then more are used and maybe even additional plays added. Repairs are determined by the plans early success levels.

Years ago I heard someone say “poor planning prevents peak performance.” Sometimes poor planning is really just being unable or unwilling to make repairs to the plan as it goes off track. We get so invested in our idea that it is hard to change to an alternative. Subtle adjustments can make a faltering plan achieve our desired results. It’s all in the understanding of the importance of preparing and then repairing!

What's Your Brand?

In the earlier history of our country branding became an important aspect. Cattle were hog-tied and a permanent brand placed upon them to prove where they belonged. The brand protected the owner from rustlers trying to encroach upon another’s property. Although not nearly as physically painful, branding and protecting our brand is still important in today’s society.

Branding identifies who we are, what our culture is and what we do. Branding becomes how we are known to others. Every person or organization is identified by certain qualities or characteristics. Considerable time and money is spent establishing and maintaining the brand. In 2012, and for the ninth year in a row, Proctor and Gamble spent more on advertising than any other company with $3 billion spent. The company started in 1837 and is well-known and yet continues identifying and protecting their brand. Three activities are essential for success in branding; we’ll explore each of them.

First we must pick what our brand will be. How do we want to be known? What is important to us? What are the qualities necessary to be successful? We will live with these choices throughout our lives or careers so care needs to be taken. It is important to choose well because the brand we communicate tends to stick with us: positively or negatively.

Second, we must consistently exhibit the qualities and characteristics chosen. These will be how we are identified to our friends or customers. We want these to stick so this is how we’ll be known and come across. They should accurately reflect who we are or where we are trying to go. We should try to remove any guesswork and have a clear picture of who we are and what we want to become.

Finally, once the brand is fine-tuned we must continuously protect our brand. Part of the protection is to be true to the characteristics chosen as important and also flexible enough when times or conditions warrant changes. Deviation from the brand can be devastating and confuse those around us. Not recognizing changing times can also hurt. Sears was late in reacting to Wal-Mart’s variety of product selection in their stores and fell from being the nation’s number one retailer.

We live with our brand for a long time. Research shows that people often spend more time planning a two week vacation than establishing a plan (brand) for their lives or careers. Rather than a hit or miss approach we need a plan for our brand!!
Contact Chuck at: chuck.wright@sckans.edu

Life's Certainties

All the time I was growing up I remember hearing that only two things were certain in life: death and taxes. My insurance career has taught me that death is truly certain; my observations in life have taught me taxes, not so much. Many don’t pay taxes, many avoid paying taxes, some evade paying taxes, and a few even go to jail for not paying taxes. Is there then just one certainty in human life, namely death?

It seems to me that at there are at least three other certainties in life. We will explore those and try to see how overcoming each of them will make life much more pleasant. Our contribution to our society and even our personal success is impacted by how we face these issues so let’s begin our discussion.

CERTAINTY #1: IF YOU DON’T GO AFTER WHAT YOU WANT, YOU’LL NEVER GET IT!! Someone has written “he (or she) who hesitates is lost.” Unfortunately some not only hesitate, but they never start. Others get into the start-stop routine and barely ever get past starting. When we have decided what we want the next step is to go for it! We fear failure, and yet, failing to try assures failure. John Greenleaf Whittier had it right when he wrote that the saddest words were “it might have been.”

CERTAINTY # 2: IF YOU DO NOT ASK THE ANSWER WILL ALWAYS BE NO!! My insurance career proved that to me early. My manager Paul Hutsey told me that asking and getting a no brought me to closer to the next yes. Yes answers were what made the difference so just ignore the nos and move on!! Jesus Himself agreed with this when He said “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you” in Matthew 7:7.

CERTAINTY #3: IF YOU DON”T PUT ONE FOOT FORWARD YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN THE SAME PLACE!! As the Chinese proverb says, “the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” This is closely related to the first certainty, but a little different. This one is more directed toward our “comfort zone” and realizing that life’s adventure is in exploring new places, thoughts, or ideas. Adjustments may have to be made along the way, but life’s joy is about the journey, not the destination!

We will all face each of the certainties many times in various aspects of our lives. In order to succeed (or fail) in life depends upon how we handle the encounters.

Hall's Cough Drop Motivators

From almost the beginning of my sales career, I was told to use motivators to keep going towards various goals. My early career with Combined Insurance Company used many motivators including “Do It Now,” “What the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve,” and “With every adversity there is a seed of equivalent benefit.” There were many more! These were to foster what Combined founder, W. Clement Stone, called PMA or Positive Mental Attitude.

Early in the year when colds and the flu were going around I developed a cough. I began to use Hall’s cough drops to lessen the cough’s effect. As I unwrapped one of the small yellow drops I noticed small print on the package. Each time I used a cough drop I noticed a different saying. By the time my cough and sore throat subsided, twelve different motivators were identified. They were all good, but five stood out to me.

“The show must go on!” No matter how much we would sometimes like to quit many others are depending upon us. Each family member makes an important contribution, and the family wouldn’t be the same without them. In the business setting, we each have others depending upon us to do our part. The show must go on; so let’s carry our share of the load.

“Be resilient!” Life has its ups and downs and we can learn from every stage that we go through. Many have stopped just short of success; so if we persist, we improve our chances. Babe Ruth struck out over 2,200 times; but because he was resilient, returned to the plate and hit 714 home runs in the dead- ball era.

“Get back in there!’ Closely related to being resilient and yet we all can relate to how hard it is to keep trying when we have failed at something. One common theme of most success stories I have read is that they all had one or many failures. The separation point is another Combined motivator, “Success is attained by those who try and keep trying.” They got back in there!!

“March forward!” The closest path between two points is a straight line towards the second point. Retreats mean ground has to be covered twice or more. Even small steps in the right direction are progress.

”It’s yours for the taking!” Most of the time we are in competition with ourselves to achieve some desired result. Indecision is the main culprit. As my old Prudential manager, Paul Hutsey, used to say, “Getting what we want is not the problem, its deciding what we want that that stops us. We just need to remember that it’s ours for the taking!!!!

Being Methodical!!

I’ve often heard people say “If only I could do that as well as he (or she) does.” They want the result without putting in the time to develop the skill. People often start a project or desire a skill only to bet bored along the way and move on to something else and something else and something else…………….

Those developing great skills and accomplishing great things are good at the art of being methodical. When others get bored and quit, successful people trudge on. Being methodical develops consistency. In fact, being methodical develops consistency at high levels. Jackie Stiles, the Claflin High School and Missouri State basketball star made 1,000 shots a day before she went on to other activities. Her shooting skills were rarely matched due to her consistency of methodical practice.

Having a plan for improvement every day is a second aspect of being methodical. Often we want to achieve or master something but forget or ignore the steps to getting where we want. Having a routine and sticking with it yields small victories and ultimately the results we desire. Watching a successful professional golfer, we see a repetitive routine that can even seem boring, but yields muscle memory that produces exact or near exact results every time.
Working the routine eventually yields dependability. Many can do a great thing one time, or even a few times. The plan and its repetitiveness make it possible to replicate performance over and over and over again. Organizations need people that can perform at a high level and can do it repeatedly.

Distractions are bound to happen as we move towards our goal. Where we can it is important to remove unwanted distractions. While we cannot always eliminate the distraction we must learn how to handle them and keep moving forward. Some distractions even relax us and make our mind sharp and better prepared to continue. It is important that we get back to our routine and let it take us to our destination.

Accomplishing superior performance is often a lonely task. There must be an understanding that not many will choose to stay with a program. The last two lines of Robert Frost’s poem “The Road Less Traveled” fits well here. “I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.” Being methodical is “a road less traveled” and those making that choice can accomplish anything! Which road we take does make a difference!