Smelling the Coffee!

Over the years I’ve had several advise me to “Stop and smell the coffee!” When I was younger I thought there would always be another moment. Age helps us realize our time is limited and so are our opportunities. In our fast-paced world we often don’t take the time or make the time to enjoy life as it happens. I have found this to be true in at least three areas of life.

First, as we accomplish success at work we forge on to the next project or goal. Before we’ve had time to savor the moment we’re in the middle of a different task. We’re so intent on making things happen that we don’t really get to kick back and enjoy the moment. Later we look back and wish we could have paused and realized what was now past.

The second area we often rush by is those personal goals or our personal “bucket list” of items we plan on doing someday. In 2005 Sharon and I started our annual “Grandkid trips” when we took our four youngest to Orlando. In the hustle and bustle of making sure things were perfect and that we covered all the activities were completed we didn’t “smell the coffee” of that moment in time. This year we had to cancel the trip due to a health issue and realized how big a part the trips had played for ten years.

The third and most important area is that of personal relationships. When someone passes we often have regrets of the time we could have spent and didn’t. Our mothers are 87 and 91. We’ve had opportunity to enjoy the time with them. On the other hand our Dads were 62 and 65 when they passed. How we would have enjoyed more time, but did enjoy what time we had! Several friends have passed this year and I look back and am glad for the moments we had. When I think of them I smile and remember the good times.

In June my sister and a cousin in Wichita both had accidents where vehicles were totaled but injuries weren’t life threatening. I saw a picture of my niece’s car and was thankful for the results. It could have been worse, a lot worse. Once again the importance of “smelling the coffee” became obvious. We never know when an encounter will be our last.

Having a health issue brought future limitations into my mind for the first time. I’ve been blessed with 71 years of good health. My goal is to slow down and enjoy each moment, person, and event to the fullest. We are only here for a very short moment in time. Hopefully we can all learn the lesson of “Smelling the coffee!”

Commencement Revisited!!!

May has rolled around once more. Thoughts of Summer and all the activities abound. Before we are off on the adventures that lay ahead we should pause and think of one of our major traditions- commencement.
One of the rites of passage in Spring or really early Summer are commencement ceremonies. We have them for high school, college, grad school, and probably others I’m not even aware of. The word itself intrigued me because when I graduated I thought that was the end and yet one of the dictionary definitions of commencement is, “a beginning or start.”

After more thought I realized the title was a proper one no matter what the level of achievement. Graduation requirements represent the fulfillment of a set of requirements, while the services signal the start toward the next stage of life, the next set of learning activities. Everyone is required to commence or to ultimately stagnate at some level of attainment!

The high school grad has several potential avenues of commencement. They can go into the work world, go to trade school, or continue on to the collegiate level. Each has its own opportunities and possibilities. One is not better than another, just different. Trade schools offer great possibilities since skilled craftsmen are a much needed quantity in our society. Work offers income and a place to grow while deciding the course for “the rest of a life.” College is most beneficial for the person focused on what they want to pursue as a career.

The baccalaureate graduate also has some hard choices. The decision to enter the work world might be impeded by a scarce present supply of jobs in his or her chosen field. Grad school is another choice. I’ve often told my MBA candidates they differentiate themselves by spending that one more year on campus. Only about one third as many have an advanced degree as those with an undergraduate degree.

When the graduate students have their ceremony it can be a scary finality to it and yet it still a commencement. They must now enter the “real world” and put all those years of formal learning to work in a practical way. They must also learn that real learning has not ended but is just beginning. Their ability to apply their knowledge will determine long term success in their chosen field.

Even those of us who have long since stopped learning in a formal environment must always be open to changes and new ideas. I remember in 1986 when I bought my first computer, I thought it would be my last. Ten machines and many other devices later new knowledge and learning continue. As we get the chance to celebrate the commencements this year let’s remember we have only begun life.

Remembering Bill!

It’s not difficult for me to remember the first time I met Bill Medley. It was the Spring of 1981 and I had just been elected to the USD 465 Board of Education. Jim Reed called and said I was to participate in interviewing candidates for Superintendent. At the district office and later at a local restaurant I met and had my first conversation with Bill and Maxine Medley. We had several good candidates and the decision came down to as Joan Kaufman put it, “When you have a close decision you go with the known quantity.” What a great nine years I had working with Bill, first as colleagues, the he became a mentor, and finally a valued friend.
The next paragraph is an excerpt from one of my earlier columns:
Bill Medley was a high school principal and superintendent in USD 465 for nearly 30 years. Bill became USD 465’s Superintendent the same day I became a new board member in 1981. Several lessons were learned during his tenure, but I will focus on two that I clearly recall. Bill’s goal was to always find them “doing something good.” He included students, teachers, staff, administration, and any other employee. The other lesson was his ability to start the seed of an idea, throw it out to an audience, and watch it come back in developed form. Bill was an example of Emerson’s old quote, “there is no limit to what can be accomplished if it doesn’t matter who gets the credit.” Bill was a master at giving credit and conversely, taking the blame.
It is also not difficult to remember my last two conversations with Bill. I was working in my yard last Fall and he stopped and we visited. He told me how his son Forrest made copies of one of my writings about him and handed them out to employees. We made a plan for me to have coffee with him the next week. At out meeting we reminisced about some of the accomplishments of our time together. Each idea that worked he recalled how I had developed it with him at a board meeting or a trip to Topeka. My recollection was that mostly they were Bill’s ideas that the board and administrators helped develop. That was Bill.
At his celebration service Brilla Scott mentioned his many of his accomplishments and ended saying she thought his proudest was returning to the community he loved as superintendent. I would agree with that and further say that being on the board that brought him back is also one of my proudest moments also. Our thoughts and prayers are with Maxine, Forrest, Jennifer, and the rest of the family. He will be missed!

The Pursuit of Money

Throughout history and in every society there has been an enduring question about the importance of money. In reality the place of money and the priority of accumulating “things” is an issue that each of us must settle for ourselves.

The apostle Paul gave advice to his young protégé Timothy “For the love of money is the root of all evil” (I Timothy 6:10). So then it is the LOVE of the money not the money itself that is the root of all evil. Like so many things in life it is when we are out of balance about money and seeking for it that we get into trouble.

The love of money has manifested itself in many ways. Wars have been fought, people have been murdered, people have been cheated all for money and often for paltry sums. In another context families have been torn apart when inordinate of time has been spent by a parent or parents grubbing for the almighty dollar. The prsuit of money in an unbalanced way has many potentially negative outcomes.

I remember in the late Steven Covey’ great book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” the comment that “no man when he comes to the end of his life regrets not spending more time at the office.” Work and money are important in this life but the really important things in life- love, family, good health.- cannot be bought. So then what is the purpose of money in our lives?

According to best-selling author John Maxwell money has only two purposes, it gives us options and it allows us the resources to help others. We have the options of where we live, the home we purchase, how we educate ourselves and our children, and even the social groups we develop relationships with. Money cannot buy us happiness, but wise gathering and use of money can allow us to live the life we choose to live. Many don’t and will never have those choices.

The second purpose, having the ability to help others, is really the essence of what life is or at least should be about. A student of mine once completed a class project surveying seventeen religions. She was trying to find what ethical positions they had in common. The dominant principle she found was several variations of the Golden Rule, to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Having resources allows us to help those less fortunate than us.

My church has a program of supporting our missionaries worldwide. The program takes large amounts of money. Another program, Manna Worldwide helps feed and clothe children in several countries. There are many, many good programs for us to fulfill that second purpose, helping others. It is up to each of us to discover where we want to place our support.

Common or Committed?

I do not choose to be a common man.
It is my right to be uncommon … if I can.

Those words were penned by Thomas Paine in 1776 and are true today. They reveal one of the truths about us rising above the mundane and committing our lives- it is a choice! We make those choices throughout our business or personal lives. We can follow the crowd and take the easy way or dare to try excellence as our goal. In the end it is up to each of us to choose to be common or committed!

Another truth about leaving the common and being committed is the place of failure in our lives. I know of no great success achieved without some if not great failure along the path, Disney failed as did President Lincoln. Richard Nixon lost the presidency, went home and lost the California Governor’s race, and later was elected in one of the greatest landslide elections in our history as a country. Ronald Reagan became president on his third attempt. As W. Clement Stone once wrote “Success is achieved by those who try and keep trying (being committed).

Fear of failure might be the single greatest reason well fall short of what we might become and thus never really commit to any task, goal or life pursuit. Teddy Roosevelt had it right when he wrote “Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checked by failure...than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” We must step out of our comfort zone if we are ever truly going to be committed.

The first two years of my insurance career were tarnished by spotty production and a willingness to go along with the crowd. Given great training I had a desire to excel but a commitment to the easy path. During a twenty-five week business insurance class I learned much and saw examples of people choosing to be committed and the lessons changed my path forever.

At the end of his great poem “The Road Not Taken” Robert Frost wrote “I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” That is the third truth about leaving the common and moving to the committed. The road will not be crowded. Others will try and divert us and get us to travel the easy path. Obstacles and diversions will try and sidetrack us as we travel life’s journey. We must forge ahead to reach being the uncommon and to remain committed to our future!

Getting Things Done!!

Much has been written about how to get things done through people. There are several theories of motivation, each having an element of truth and success. After studying and trying most of them for over forty years I have come to the conclusion I can’t motivate anyone, but can just put someone in a position to motivate themselves and reach for what they want.

Why have I come to that conclusion? I have read books and listened to speakers on motivation for years. After a few days their benefits have waned unless I made a conscious effort to keep the effect going. Most people are not willing to make the effort to keep up the effect, so as leaders we must find a way to do it for them. My system for putting followers in a position for self- motivation comes in three steps. They are, as follows:

First, it is important to create an atmosphere. We want them to be in a positive position for accomplishment. We must get to know our people and what THEY want from our organization or team. When we know them we also must prepare them with training needed to accomplish their tasks. Someone has said “nothing succeeds like success” so we must allow them small victories, and yes even some failures, to move toward their own goals for growth. Along the way we involve the team in goal setting so it becomes OUR plan and not just something that we are handed without input.

When we have successfully created the desired atmosphere we then must move on to the second step, contributing to our success. We do this first by understanding that we too must grow and continue getting better at what we do. We lead by example and in so doing contribute to our and their success. This step is a continuous process because each person needs something different from us and as they grow what they need changes. A key to contributing to our success is remaining flexible to the ever changing needs of our staff or team. One of my former managers once said “never ask someone to do what you haven’t or wouldn’t do”. We contribute to our success by getting “in the trenches” with them!

The final step is to always celebrate our victories. These celebrations come on at least two levels. As we are progressing towards a goal we must have small celebrations that recognize our progress and those responsible for the achievement. When the big picture goal is reached we should also celebrate, but on a larger scale. Each step along the way should be marked with meaningful recognition for all involved. We want to give credit where it is due and to make it vocal and valuable. By doing these things we make it not my victory, but our victory and we are “getting things done!”
Contact Chuck at: chuck.wright@sckans.edu

Saying Thanks!

November has rolled around again, the year is winding down, and many of our thoughts turn to those things and those for whom we are thankful. Really this should be a year around activity but it seems we get too busy to stop and be thankful and to say thanks. In this land of plenty it is easy to develop and attitude of entitlement and not realize how blessed we are. My list is certainly not all-inclusive and I’ll think of something left out, but I’ll share some of the items that deserve my saying thanks.

Thanks to God for being born in this great nation. I am free to worship how I want, work where I want, and live where I want. Those and other freedoms are only possible because of those sacrificing, even dying, so that I and others could exercise our freedoms. Changing our government by ballot and not by bullet is another wonderful freedom. We’re even free to call others stupid and uneducated because they choose to vote differently than we do.

Thanks to my wife of forty-nine years and all the joys and sorrows we’ve shared. I decided long ago that she was a keeper and one of the few people (maybe the only one) that could put up with me. In those early days I thought she was the nicest and the smartest person I ever met. I was right. I’m hoping for many years to share our common interests- our faith, our family, and our friends.

Thanks for our families, close and distant. Our daughters, grandchildren, mothers, sisters, cousins, etc. have added joy to our household. We have shared many special occasions, joys, and sorrows. We have had great opportunity to share with you in our home and in distant places. As Debbie Boone once sang, “You light up my life.”

Thanks to those sacrificing to keep us safe. Our police, firefighters, and yes, our military serving on foreign shores all deserve our thanks. Our lives happen so peacefully and matter of fact that we too often forget the risks you take to provide our everyday lives. An ordered society is dependent upon each of you to keep us from chaos.

Thanks for the opportunity to have two great careers. The sales and sale management career of my youth and the teaching career I’ve had in my mature years. Both have been a blessing and added to my life. I continually learn from the students taking my classes.

These are just a few things I have to say thanks about. Think of yours and remember to say thanks for those providing them. Also, have a great Thanksgiving!!!!